darkdestine56
"When I step into the light."
"I'm sorry."
"Think about it for a while
You'll thank me when you doYeah that's what she told me
When I was about to jump into you
And now I'm miserable just the same
'Cept I'm with her instead
And now I'm wondering what the weather's like
Inside of your head
Does it snow? Does it rain?
Has the sun set on your memory, has the moon brought back the pain?
And are you cold? Do you need my coat?
Do you still sing? Cause I need your note
And time is torture to my brain
Weeds growing everywhere
I feel like an empty garden
With no one to water me, or care
And she is like my hurricane
Yeah she's left me without a home
And I try to call you up again
But you do not answer your telephone
Are you busy? Are you still mad?
Has the ringing made you weary, has the silence made you sad?
And are you cold? Do you need my coat?
Do you still sing? Cause I need your note
There's a fire burning in my heart
And I'm still learning where to start
To tell you that I need you more
Than I thought I could
Are your thoughts still on me?
'Cause I do not expect them all to be
But I'm still cold, and I lost that coat
Do you still sing? Cause I need your note
It went oh"
Note - Anthony Da Costa
This is the only place I suppose I could really post this right now. I don't know why. But most likely it's because I am a bit scared, if not much more than a bit scared, and I want to say something, but not anywhere that people will see it. Well, certain people I guess. Who knows?
-
I just wept.
I cried.
I'm sorry.
-
March 23rd
-
I haven't cried in years, and I'm waiting for it to hit me. I know when it does, it will either be like opening a floodgate for every moment where I should've cried, or it will be like it's not even happening. And maybe it never will. God, I hope not. I am so fucking sick of priding myself on being some happy-go-lucky person. I am not strong. I am not above the pain that invades the lives of everyone I know. I'm just another dude, who's naked underneath his clothes like everybody else. And there is a beauty in that, but lately I don't really seem to understand it. I spend more time being quiet these days. Which only means I spend less time looking people in the eye and loving them or being loved by them, and more time with my eyes averted, lonely thoughts charging full throttle into my optimism, making me long to be alone, to be away, to be soaked in a cold and sobering sense of hopeless reality. What happened to me in the course of three and a half weeks? Why are change and love so hard? Loneliness is such a mystery to me. I am surrounded by people and the love that they give to me, but I think at the end of the day, when I go to sleep by myself in bed, I know - whether I want to or not - that there will be days when I don't wake up. Days that I never even see. And the fact of the matter is that I will have to face those days on my own, no matter how many people are with me when they arrive. I just hope that before they get here, I will be able to say that I cried again. I hope that I will be able to feel what is happening to me, and just submit to the pain or the joy as I am meant to. I'm waiting for it to hit me.
No Rebels - Stick it to the man!
Sleep Like Laughter
Don't put me in the same room with her,
I'll just take the failure,
Don't hold me in the same arms as hers,
I can hear the laughter,
Of bitterness and broken days,
I took a few of your dreams away,
But you gave them up just to sleep again,
Don't taste my lips, it's turning into work,
My tongue is not a time card,
Don't take my hand, just shut your mouth,
There's nothing to talk about.
You haven't got a right to say it now.
I didn't want you.
I didn't want you.
I didn't have you.
I didn't have you.
Just put me in the same room as her,
I can face the failure,
But don't wake me in the morning with her,
Her sleep is like a laughter,
It comes and lifts my smile high,
But when it's over my teeth are white stars in the night that can't be seen through my lips,
Lips, and hips, and fingertips touching me,
Silver dollars in your eyes; oh, the love you want isn't free.
Don't say a word, don't touch me now,
Your hands can't lead you out.
Not through me.
I think I want you.
I think I want you.
I think I have you.
I think I have you.
I'll just take the failure,
Don't hold me in the same arms as hers,
I can hear the laughter,
Of bitterness and broken days,
I took a few of your dreams away,
But you gave them up just to sleep again,
Don't taste my lips, it's turning into work,
My tongue is not a time card,
Don't take my hand, just shut your mouth,
There's nothing to talk about.
You haven't got a right to say it now.
I didn't want you.
I didn't want you.
I didn't have you.
I didn't have you.
Just put me in the same room as her,
I can face the failure,
But don't wake me in the morning with her,
Her sleep is like a laughter,
It comes and lifts my smile high,
But when it's over my teeth are white stars in the night that can't be seen through my lips,
Lips, and hips, and fingertips touching me,
Silver dollars in your eyes; oh, the love you want isn't free.
Don't say a word, don't touch me now,
Your hands can't lead you out.
Not through me.
I think I want you.
I think I want you.
I think I have you.
I think I have you.
No Rebels - Stick it to the man!
"April 11th"
Your eyes, across the table,
I want to lean right over and kiss them ‘til they cry,
Your words, eerie and unstable,
I want to hear them ‘til you’ve got no more to say,
I left you, you walked home,
Is your coat still cold? Do you need my hand, I hope I don’t need yours,
But I do. Oh, I do.
Your lips are living water and I need to have a taste.
Just one taste?
And I’ll do what you want,
Whatever it takes to get your love,
I want you, can’t take you,
But maybe you’ll give it up,
Give it up.
It’s your skirt, on your thighs,
A velvet cake I want to taste again and again and again and again,
But I can’t, and you won’t,
It’s too late now, I made my choice and I have to let you go,
But I can’t, and you won’t,
Make it any easier with the way you smile and the way you hug me when I go!
Your arms are a quiet church and I just want to lay down.
Just one taste?
And I’ll do what you want,
Whatever it takes to get your love,
I want you, can’t take you,
But maybe you’ll give it up.
Oh I’ll do, what you want,
I’m pitiful now but not pitiful enough,
I hope you just say no,
What would I do if you gave it up?
What would I do if you gave it up?
What would I do if you gave your love?
I want to lean right over and kiss them ‘til they cry,
Your words, eerie and unstable,
I want to hear them ‘til you’ve got no more to say,
I left you, you walked home,
Is your coat still cold? Do you need my hand, I hope I don’t need yours,
But I do. Oh, I do.
Your lips are living water and I need to have a taste.
Just one taste?
And I’ll do what you want,
Whatever it takes to get your love,
I want you, can’t take you,
But maybe you’ll give it up,
Give it up.
It’s your skirt, on your thighs,
A velvet cake I want to taste again and again and again and again,
But I can’t, and you won’t,
It’s too late now, I made my choice and I have to let you go,
But I can’t, and you won’t,
Make it any easier with the way you smile and the way you hug me when I go!
Your arms are a quiet church and I just want to lay down.
Just one taste?
And I’ll do what you want,
Whatever it takes to get your love,
I want you, can’t take you,
But maybe you’ll give it up.
Oh I’ll do, what you want,
I’m pitiful now but not pitiful enough,
I hope you just say no,
What would I do if you gave it up?
What would I do if you gave it up?
What would I do if you gave your love?
No Rebels - Stick it to the man!
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