"When I step into the light."

I was looking over all the songs I've written since my arrival at MTSU, and the changes in me have really begun to reflect in my music.

Things are a bit quieter.

Things are a bit more melodic and musical.

And I don't really know that I feel much different, but I can tell that I am.

It feels good, changing.

I know I've only just gotten started, and I certainly know that this will never end.

But it feels good looking back on things and thinking about it.

I'm glad.

This life is a good one.

I hope that you can say the same thing.

Kudos...

...Dave.

Oh I just dunno.

I wonder if I'll ever not "dunno."

I wonder if I'll ever just give up on the bullshit of "figuring it out," and step back to look at my super-F ' d up life and say, "Ah...perfect."

Without a single note of sarcasm.

That seems like a lovely idea.

To just be okay with everything that seems much the opposite of okay.

To be grateful.

To be humble.

To be selfless.

Sooner or later, that'll be the case.

But not today.

Ah.

Not today.

Kudos...

...Dave.

I sure as hell miss it.

Knowing that somebody just gets me.

And this is all so different, being here in Tennessee.

It's really hard.

And I'm scared.

And I just had to say that somewhere.

I don't wanna be here.

Kudos...

...Dave.

If I could tell you all of my secrets.

Well then I would be much too honest for the average kid.

I'll tell you a good deal of my heart though.

I'm homesick.

I miss my friends so badly.

I miss feeling that sense of confidence that comes with being known.

I miss knowing what to expect from the people around me.

I'm guilty.

I'm just going to let it all meander off the page with the most amazing person I was ever friends with on this planet.

And no one's to blame for that detail other than me.

The worst part is I know it and I'm just scared and cowardly and tactless.

So I'm one hell of an asshole in that sense.

But all of that's just the inside me.

The stuff I like to keep in the closet and cover up.

The broken, raw, tiny little piece of innocence that I held onto after childhood.

That still can't make sense of the world around or the way it affects me.

Kudos...

...Dave.

There's nothing like a cigar at 2 in the morning in an abandoned playground to set the stage to speak with the God of the Universe.

 

Funny...I can find him in every place I go.

 

God...you are universal.

 

Kudos...

 

...Dave.

Adieu.

 

I'm finished with this place for many a season.

 

See you when I see you.

 

Kudos...

 

...Dave.